Ron White Quotes

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.

A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose ...

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and a...

I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.

Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that y...

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if ...

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you c...

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to...

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

I've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct call...

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could...

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. The...

I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life ...

If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any mone...

I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, becau...

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and...

I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and...